Proper Pauper

There are TONS of reasons why I don't often splurge on high priced clothing. Some are obvious like the fact I don't have a real job. Or that I live in Portland, Oregon where the term dress-down was born and every day is casual Friday. Listen up Stumptown, it's not acceptable to wear fleece and birkenstocks to the ballet. I know you're really high and don't care, but quit it. Other reasons stem from my upbringing. Wether it was clothing, jewelry or home decor I was always told, "Leslie, YOU could do THAT!" My Mom was DIY way before it was cool or a known acronym. Then, there was my GranGran who could care less if the sales woman was standing next to us when she'd shout, "you can get this in Mexico for a dollar!"

I could go on and on about my cheapness, but I won't. Today, I wanna talk about online discount shopping clubs. I know that I usually dress like a 14 year old boy, but sometimes I do polish the ol' turd and go out sexing. For that, I need some nice pieces. I can't get EVERYTHING at Forever31! There are tons of these sites, but I stick to these three: Ideeli.com, swirl.com and gilt.com. Ideeli has the best prices on the clothes, but sometimes they'll throw in a poo-poo line from Jessica Simpson or Ed Hardy. Swirl has the hippest clothes and the prices are moderate. Gilt is all couture and usually out of my price range even when it's 80% off. All three of these sites require invites... so holler! Or you can get on a "waiting list" where they always accept you within 10 minutes of sending your request.

I've only bought costume jewelry from Gilt, but I still love to go look around at the clothes I'd buy if I were a successful business woman or Mrs. Doctor. Today, they have Alexander McQueen. Why do the goooooood die young? If only I'd been one of his BFFs. I would have hung out with him and brought over some Dominos (classic recipe of course), some B&G's PhishFood and plenty of muscle relaxers. We could have watched 6 hours of Forensic Files to quench all of our morbid curiosities and 4 hours of Wife Swap or What Not to Wear to remind ourselves that we ARE better than everyone else. That's why they invented reality television! Oh well, RIP Alex. Here are some of his pieces on sale today:

Yesterday, a friend of a friend gave me all her old patterns because she's moving to NY. This caftan is one of my faves. I wish it were in small so I could make one for myself. Can I just say, I LOVE a man in black & white stripes! He must be stuck in façonner la prison.

buns of steel!

My hair is too thin for a nice bun. At least that's what I thought. I just bought these Goody Spin Pins and THEY WORK. I did have to get my wire cutters out and shorten them. This bun is tight. I could head-bang and this baby wouldn't fall out. Now I can be secretary sexy!

SEW cool

First of all, please don't let Bruce, my hot shoes or that hair-band on the ground distract you.

This first skirt was sewn in class at Portland Sewing (which I would highly recommend). I love this fabric -it reminds me of heavenly bodies on muh body. Now I know why hippies love batik fabric! TRIPPY. And here's a close-up of the fabric, Don't fall down that rabbit hole!

This second skirt I made all by myself. This is NOT goth. The fabric's name is "Midnight Cowboy" y'all. Plus, I have blonde hair right now, so that automatically eliminates any of my clothing from this category. I would also add that I'm 31, but after seeing a "goth family" on Wife Swap, I've learned Hot Topics comes in all ages. I really shouldn't worry about it. A very wise person (Liz) once said, "i would rather be goth than white and nerdy! i hope people think im a witch so they dont fuck with me". So TRUE. Anyways, back to my skirt: cute.

Well, thanks for stopping by to check out the coolest shit ever. ahhahaha. I'm gonna try post once a week. PROMISE!